awesome honor and privilege of being partners with God in bringing forth life and nurturing it into adulthood. What a responsibility!
It’s the nature of a mother to put the needs of her child before her own, selflessness that often goes unnoticed. We become so accustomed to putting others first, that we neglect our own needs too often. Guilt can even set in when we do something for ourselves such as going out with a friend for a cup of coffee, or sleeping in. But neglecting ourselves can be a disservice to our children.
We want to be godly women - women after God’s own heart. Serving others certainly reflects that, but there is more. Our identities go far beyond being a mother. We are, first, daughters of the King. What does that look like? Well, for starters, it doesn’t look the same for every woman. The Vine is the same One, but the way it grows, and the fruit it produces, is different. Therefore, comparing ourselves to our sisters in Christ, is not a good idea. It would only serve to derail us from our own purpose, while skewing our perspective.
As daughters of our Heavenly Father, we know the things we ought to do; we ought to read His Word, be in prayer, seek His Kingdom first, and represent Him well. As mothers, we also know what we ought to do; we ought to care for our families by being there for them, cooking, guiding, disciplining, discipling, cleaning, etc. But as females, we tend to forget the woman inside.
We have dreams, we have fears, we have desires, and we have wounds. We want to feel loved, protected, and wanted. We want to be appreciated and be someone’s close friend; the one they call for wisdom or simply to share great news! We want to belong, we want to feel accomplished, worthy, and lovely.
How do we balance our roles as Princesses of the King, mothers, wives, friends, and women? There is no cookie-cutter way, but there are suggestions:
1) Start each day with God - Overstated, yet underappreciated. Let’s go back to basics and make sure we put God first in our day. Being in fellowship with Him does wonders for our attitudes and perspectives. We wouldn’t leave our homes without brushing our hair and teeth. Let’s make God a priority, even more than personal hygiene.
2) Seek the Truth, not your feelings -
Whether we’re feeling overwhelmed, scared, angry, excited, or unloved, we must
discipline ourselves to not give in to our emotions. God’s love for us is truth and so is His Word. The Word will keep us grounded and humble. Our families do love us, and we don’t have to be perfect. His grace is sufficient. That’s the truth.
3) Model godliness - We cannot expect our children to honor us and obey, if we don’t set the example in all that we do. Do we respect authority/laws in our communities? Do we allow our husbands to be leaders in our homes, or do we ignore their input on things because we “know best?” It’s the little everyday things that set the examples for our children. How do we react in difficult situations? Do our children see us turn to God first? Do they see us pray?
4) Knock down walls - We have gotten so used to burying certain memories and the emotions they bring deep down, that we don’t realize how they still affect our lives. There is a reason we feel unloved, a reason for our fears, and a reason for our attitude toward life. Don’t keep burying the reasons. Be courageous enough to dig deep and know that God’s grace is sufficient. He still heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds (Psalm 147:3). He still sets the captive free (Luke 4:18). Are you being held captive? Jesus has the key.
5) Make time for your husband and friends - It is healthy for us to have a break. The cleaning will never come to an end and the family will survive without you, mommies. Don’t neglect yourselves. Schedule time with a friend or two. If it’s that difficult for you, then start with a morning coffee date while the kids are at school. If you homeschool, ask a relative or friend to care for your kid(s) for a couple of hours.
Don’t neglect scheduling time with your husband as well! Marriage thrives when properly nurtured. Be intentional, and when in doubt, zip your mouth! I don’t need to explain how good we women are at communicating our discontent or offended feelings to our husbands. Let’s do it properly, without smart remarks or sarcastic tones. Let’s use our scheduled time with them for connecting, loving, and expressing our gratitude for them.
A happy mommy makes a happy home. Being obedient to God will leave us with renewed joy and perspective. Let’s be wise women; godly women after God’s heart. Stay connected to the Vine and your fruit will be blessed.
We truly can do all things through Christ who gives us strength (Philippians 4:13).