But then of course you quickly get slapped back into reality and realize once more that it's not about you! The sooner we can accept that, the better. "I'm tired, no one listens, no one cares, it's not helping, people are flakes, I don't have enough funds, help, or wisdom," BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. That's what I sound like to myself when I get discouraged. I sometimes wish I could detach my brain from myself because I cannot stand it.
What does God use to reel us back? The one thing we thought we might give up on. This morning, right before school started, a little boy I hadn't seen since the ministry picnic in July, approached me and asked me if I was going to get him and his sister a Bible. He remembered! I hadn't been able to get a hold of this boy the rest of the summer after the picnic and here he is, wanting his Bible!
It's happened countless times. If I'm discouraged, God will send someone to me that needs encouragement and I think, "Really, God? I have nothing to offer, nothing to give, and you send someone that needs exactly what I am dying for?" (Ok, I may exaggerate when I'm discouraged, just a bit.)
We will not always live in a spiritual high where everything is lovely and God's presence is tangible. I love those moments! But I learned I cannot depend on them and I'm glad! Otherwise, we wouldn't be required to have faith; we'd just be waiting for our next moment of God's manifestation. We walk by faith, not by sight (2 Corinthians 5:7).
I have a longing to be with the Father, an ache in my heart that sometimes is quite painful. I long for Him with all my being. I try to remember that this life will be over in the blink of an eye and then I'll have an eternity with Him. While we're here in this life, we cannot neglect the Great Commission. We're not Holy Spirit Juniors, roaming the earth, making disciples. We are Christ's ambassadors who proclaim His message and the Holy Spirit does the work in people's hearts. Whether we see the seed being planted, cultivated, and growing, or not, the work must be done.
Take heart! Nothing we do for the Lord is in vain and His word doesn't come back void. We don't have to see it. We don't have to concern ourselves with the work that God said He would do, as if we didn't believe Him. His timing, not ours. His way, not ours (though I do have a few ideas for Him and make them known).
Whatever work you're doing for God, if you're seeking Him and feel led to continue doing what you're doing, then be obedient to God's calling and be courageous. We have to press on. It's not about us. Push through the discouragement. God is faithful and He will grant us the grace and strength we need to continue. We can't give up. We must take the focus off ourselves and continue to abide in Him. Remember, it is when we bear much fruit that we are truly His disciples and bring glory to the Father (John 15:8).
That's enough ranting for now. I was thinking "out loud".